


The Hero's Journey

by en passant (corinthian)



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's, Yu-Gi-Oh! GX
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-10 09:34:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4386755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corinthian/pseuds/en%20passant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"How long are you staying?" Yuusei asked as he made up the spare room for Judai. He kept it open for travelers — sometimes Jack or Crow, home for the circuit, Aki visiting from school, the twins on occasion and even, often, strangers.</p>
<p>"As long as I'm welcome, probably." Judai grinned, "But, maybe a little less."</p>
<p>"You're welcome as long as you need."</p>
<hr/>
<p>Post-canon tragic starshipping for Ano!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hero's Journey

The first time Judai returned, he was older, but not by much. Yuusei, who had just turned twenty — probably — found that Judai looked older than him. But when asked about his age, Judai had laughed and said: Trade secret. Yubel, though, mentioned that Judai was older than he looked.

"How long are you staying?" Yuusei asked as he made up the spare room for Judai. He kept it open for travelers — sometimes Jack or Crow, home for the circuit, Aki visiting from school, the twins on occasion and even, often, strangers.

"As long as I'm welcome, probably." Judai grinned, "But, maybe a little less."

"You're welcome as long as you need."

"If it was just as long as I need, I wouldn't be staying long." But then they shook hands, clasped palms and Judai held on tightly. "How long will you keep me for?" It was then that Yuusei noiced how displaced Judai looked: the unkept edges to his hair, the torn hem of his jacket and the odd red dust on his hands and neck.

"As long as you want." Only, just barely, did Yuusei resist pulling him into a hug.

Judai only stayed for three days. On the first one all he did was sleep, and Yuusei worked from home. He set up his laptop at home and worked at the kitchen table, hoping to be there if Judai needed anything.

Yubel woke before Judai and settled hirself on the kitchen counter for a while. Judai's been hard at work, ze said.

"As expected," Yuusei smiled, fond. "He gives his all, doesn't he?"

More than that, was all Yubel would say on the subject.

On the second day, they went out to the bay. Neo Domino had changed the dock landscape a lot in the handful of years that had passed from the unification of Satellite to the city. The docks had become a place for food cats and little booths with games and local vendors trying to sell trinkets. Embarrassingly, there was even Team 5Ds merchandise, that Yuusei tried to subtly steer Judai away from but they ended up getting keychains and bumper stickers.

"I don't even have a car, but this is totally cute," Judai grinned. It was actually kind of hideous — the Yuusei-Go with tacky red angel wings, but at least the message _Ride the Road of Hope_ underneath it on a shimmering night sky banner was acceptable.

"It's all right," Yuusei compromised. "Do you want to grab a bite to eat, too?"

"Yeah! Show me the best food of the future!" Judai pumped his fist in the air. They got fried shrimp skewers, croquettes, chocolate covered banana bites, drinking vinegar and seaweed crackers in the shape of tires. The water was low, it hadn't rained much recently and the perfect temperature for sitting on the pier.

"I'm glad you came to visit." Yuusei said.

"Did you think I wouldn't? I travel so much it isn't a big deal to drop by once every now and then." Judai flicked his shrimp tails into the water. "I happened to be in the area, in the right time."

"Do you time travel a lot?" 

"Not really so much as time travel as sometimes it just works out that way. The other worlds don't really work on the same schedule as ours, you know?"

Yuusei didn't, not really. He wondered if there was a world where Judai met up with Z-One and Aporia and Antimony, but he can't bring himself to ask, just yet.

"Sounds complicated." Yuusei smiled, lopsidedly. "Seems to be how life is, though."

"The good and the bad," Judai agreed. "A lot of both."

The third day they spent at home, together, doing nothing in particular. They watched a movie, ate lunch, Yuusei found it companionable and for the first time since Team 5Ds had gone down different paths, his apartment didn't feel so empty.

On the fourth day, Judai was just gone. For the next few years, Judai was a semi-constant presence in Yuusei's life. He usually stopped by at the beginning of the month, looking worn down but never without that spark of life that made him _Judai_.

He became so regular that Yuusei got a two-bedroom apartment, on the old border of the city, overlooking the water. Judai's room was kept tidy and Yuusei made sure there was always at least one of Judai's favorite snack foods in the cabinets. His coworkers even joked that Yuusei must have a traveling mistress — he didn't bother to correct them.

He did get Judai a key, and on the keyring — after some thought — Yuusei attached a ring made out of an old coil from Momentum. He didn't think Judai would mind and didn't think Judai would really understand the gesture — in some ways, he hoped not.

"Cool keychain," Judai said, but that was all. It was Yubel, who looked at Yuusei over Judai's shoulder with two raised eyebrows and slight sneer, who might have known what it meant.

"Yeah, I got it just for you." Yuusei laughed. "A new restaurant opened up, should we give it a try?"

"Hehh, Domino keeps changing." Judai agreed they should try it out. "It's not at all like the city I know best."

"Nostalgic?" Yuusei had to ask. The changing city even made Yuusei nostalgic, to think about how he grew up and how almost none of the familiar Satellite landmarks even existed anymore.

"Not really nostalgic — time passes and things change. I'm not really nostalgic for childhood, it gets kind of blurry. But it's the feeling of coming home to a place that no longer welcomes you." Judai laughed. "I've outgrown Domino."

"I don't think I'll ever outgrow the city." Yuusei admitted.

"I don't think so either, it likes you too much." 

"The city likes me?" Yuusei shook his head. "It's because I like the city too much. It's home." 

That's what he means, Yubel said. The restaurant immediately welcomed Yuusei and Judai and led themto the "best table" and Yuusei couldn't stop apologizing. Judai just thanked the waitstaff and teased Yuusei about being famous.

"So, is this the rich life?" Judai asked.

"It's not usually like this..." Yuusei tried to brush it off. But he couldn't when they got free appetizers and desserts.

"Bask in it! Accept it! People want to show you that they care." Judai shook his head. "That's one of those important life lfessons — up there with enjoy life, don't forget the precious things, you know?"

"Good advice." Yuusei agreed.

It was a perfect meal in perfect company. Yuusei even remembered that he wanted to get a picture — and Judai let him take it. It wasn't a very good picture, more like an awkward selfie because neither of them really wanted to ask the waiter to take it for them. Judai had an arm around Yuusei, their heads were _almost_ touching, though they were off-center in the picture. Yuusei's smile was small but honest and Judai's grin, blinding. They were both happy. 

Yuusei would always mean to take the photo off of his phone and print it out, to frame it, but he never will.

* * *

Judai was sick. He stayed for two weeks, in March, and spent the first few days doing nothing but sleeping and walking the coastline at night. Yuusei didn't bother him — Judai did a lot of things he just didn't understand.

"I guess this is what you call getting old." Judai laughed about it. He didn't look a day over 30 and Yuusei had to point that out.

"You're hardly old."

"I'm older than I look!" Judai pointed to himself, but added, "And I'm older in things than just years."

"Isn't that just maturity?" Yuusei wasn't used to being the one to try and lighten the mood, especially with Judai. Over the past few years of Judai visiting and how their lives went on — it had mostly been Judai who had a smile or joke to fill the moment. Sometimes it did seem like Judai tried too hard but he didn't seem to want to be told to try less hard either. Yuusei had accepted, long ago, that most of the people he cared about most were unwilling to change themselves to be happier. Sometimes they just had to run into something headlong before they improved.

"I think it's something more than just that." Judai shrugged and sprawled out across Yuusei's couch. "What if I stayed here for years? Would you get tired of me?"

"Who could get tired of you?" Yuusei walked over, just so he could lean over the couch edge and brush his fingers through Judai's bangs. "You might get tired of me first, though."

"You can be pretty boring." Judai agreed, with a laugh. "But in a steady way."

"Steadily boring?" Yuusei shook his head. He leaned on the couch arm, not quite willing to give up having Judai within reach.

"Exactly that. Steadily boring."

The upside down kiss was awkward and not very good. Judai's lips were a little too warm and the flush on his cheeks had nothing to do with romance.

"Are you okay?" Yuusei asked.

"Just perfect." Judai lied.

The next time, Judai stayed for a month — the whole month of July. The weather was hot and Yuusei didn't have any air conditioning but he did buy coldpacks and a big fan. They would often lay on the hardwood floor of the apartment, on a cushion with the fans going and share shaved ice or frozen lemonades. With the coldpacks stacked in front of the fan, it was almost as good as air conditioning.

"You don't look so good," Yuusei said.

"Old age is catching up with me," Judai grinned, stretched out and then curled up at Yuusei's side. Despite the fact that it was scorching out, Judai felt cold as ice. "I'm just thirsty."

"Let me get you something."

But Judai didn't let Yuusei get up, instead he wrapped his arms around him and wouldn't let go.

"It's fine. I can get something later. I'm comfortable, right now."

"You should take better care of your health." Yuusei scolded, but relented. He had always been bad at making people do things. Everyone had their own way of living, and Yuusei wasn't the kind of person who forced them to do otherwise. Judai, especially, was the kind of person who seemed like he wouldn't flourish, if made to be something else.

This takes a lot out of him. Yubel said. There was an undercurrent of _something_ in hir voice. Yuusei didn't know if 'this' was visiting, or something else. He wouldn't ask, either. He wouldn't put himself on the opposite side from Yubel.

"Don't be so grouchy, Yubel." Judai waved a hand. "I take fine care of myself. You accept the good and the bad."

"That doesn't mean you can't strive for the best, always." Yuusei wanted to chide Judai even more, but he left it at that. 

"You sound like a teacher when you say that." 

"A teacher?"

"Yeah, ever thought about doing that? Back at school people were always trying to get us to _think about our future_. Have a five-year plan, that kind of thing." Judai's exhale sounded a little more like a sigh. "I always just wanted to live in the moment."

"This moment isn't bad." Yuusei said.

It'll pass. Yubel said. It was almost snide, but there was too much immediate nostalgia to just be that.

"So, let's live in it." Judai declared. There was no argument.

* * *

"He's amazing." Yuusei said, to Yubel. Yuusei found himself talking to Yubel more, not that he had ignored hir before but with Judai sleeping more or Judai needing more space — that's just what happened. Judai didn't tell Yuusei to leave him alone — but his expression would go stormy, his lips turn into a hard line and he would get _mean_. It had taken Yuusei months to figure out that it was Judai telling him that he needed more space. (It had, really, been Crow who had mentioned it in a phonecall, that not everyone wanted endless support and sometimes they just wanted to be alone. That, sometimes, Yuusei could be a little oppressive in his desire to constantly be aiding others.) 

Of course he is. Yubel agreed.

"I don't know how to help." Yuusei confessed. "He's really sick, isn't he?"

That, Yubel wouldn't answer.

* * *

Yuusei hadn't left Neo Domino since Satisfaction Town was Crash Town. It didn't feel right to leave the city, not when he had so much more work to do and not when the city might need him again — but when Judai woke up on Saturday morning and said: Let's go somewhere, Yuusei just said yes.

They didn't get far, just to right outside the city limits because Judai's feet wouldn't hold him up for much longer than a few hours a day and it was good enough.

"I never want to end up where I started." Judai said, leaning on Yuusei when they checked into the hotel. Yuusei had tried to splurge, but his frugal habits were hard to overcome.

"Always moving forward, that sounds tiring." Yuusei got their keys and led them to the elevator. The room was on the corner, but only had one window and a single bed underneath it. It did, though, have a good view of the rolling farm fields that lay outside of Neo Domino.

"It's because I don't like responsibility," Judai laughed.

"Jack — you met him — was always moving forward too, but sometimes it was because he was afraid of what he left behind." Yuusei didn't worry about outing one of Jack's secrets to Judai. For as much as Judai talked and how careless he could seem, he was so guarded and private.

Besides, it would do Jack good if it got out anyway.

"Do you think we're similar, me and Jack?" Judai sat on the bed.

"You're both pretty strong, good duelists and can talk a lot." Yuusei smiled, way too fondly. "But you're not that similar, in the end."

"Hey, Yuusei." Judai started, stopped, looked out the window and then continued. "You'll have to make the journey home alone."

Yuusei felt something build in his chest like a terrible laugh, just a feeling that rose up in him uncontrollably until it came out as a rough whisper, "I'm not going home without you."

It wasn't the first time he made that promise and it wouldn't be the last time. But, like before, it would get broken.

* * *

There was a small shop down the street from the hotel. Yuusei went every day, browsed the shelves and usually bought a bag of chips or maybe a bottle of painkillers. Sometimes he bought a random over the counter from the cold & flu section.

"You seem like you don't really know what you want," the cashier rung him up, on his fourth trip. "If you're lost and in need of help, there's plenty of places."

Yuusei realized, he'd bought three bottles of extra strength ibuprofen in the week. But he shook his head. "Sorry, it's for a friend. We're doing all right."

"Doesn't look like it." The cashier said, but didn't say anything else.

"Thanks, sorry for the concern." Yuusei replied, paid and left. Outside he leaned against the store wall with his purchases in hand. It didn't really matter what he bought. The bedstand in the hotel room was littered with bottles or snacks, bottles of water and fruit juice. Whatever he could try to get Judai to keep down, whatever medicine that might help with his symptoms, if Judai would take them.

He knew, he'd _known_ for a while that it wasn't going to be enough. But there was no way that he was going to give up.

* * *

The cough Judai had developed was dry. It rattled around in his chest and the back of his throat and hung on even when he talked. His words came out in short bursts, accompanied by a wheeze or gasping exhale.

Yuusei didn't sleep at night because he was worried that he'd wake up and find Judai had stopped breathing in the middle of the night.

He couldn't lie or say everyhting was going to get better because when he held onto Judai's hand the few times he napped the return squeeze was faint and shook with every cough.

The hotel had a coin laundry that Yuusei used once a week. He felt it was the least he could do since the pillowcases and sheets and towels all became bloodflecked. There was always blood at the corner of Judai's lips, from being cracked by dehydration and from the rawness of his throat and, probably, from deep within his lungs too.

* * *

"There's a hospital." Yuusei said.

"I'd rather be here." Judai said.

You won't do anything he doesn't want. Yubel said.

So, Yuusei didn't.

* * *

Judai insisted that they weren't seizures. He pointed out that he didn't tremble all over, he didn't froth at the mouth, none of that. But he did tense and stare into the distance and become unreachable. His hands sometimes trembled and on occasion he would grab onto Yuusei's sleeve and just say, my legs don't work.

Yuusei had to agree, but he didn't know what else to call them, so he stopped calling them anything. Instead he held Judai when his eyes uncofused and he went far away and massaged any tense or cramped muscles. When Judai couldn't walk, or feel his legs, he'd carry him to the restroom, help him dress, anything else he needed.

"Sorry," Judai said, one day, out of the blue. There was a grimace on his face.

"There's nothing to apologize for. I want to do this for you."

"I never wanted this done for me." Judai said, but there wasn't any heat in it, just heavy resignation.

"I know." I'm sorry. "It'll get better." Yuusei couldn't stop himself from saying it.

"You're always too optimistic." Judai tugged on Yuusei's ear, lightly. "I'll break your heart."

"It's what I want to believe."

"We don't always get what we want."

* * *

"I want to go somewhere." Judai said, three weeks after they checked into the hotel. He was bright eyed and lucid, he looked awake for the first time in days. Yuusei wondered if he was still dreaming, because Judai had been declining, day after day, slipping away. But then Judai smiled and Yuusei thought if it was a dream he would be okay with that.

"Where?" He asked.

"Anywhere."

So they packed up and left. They didn't drive because Judai wanted to walk until his legs gave out and while Yuusei was so certain it would only be a few feet they walked for hours. Judai's cough was mostly gone, too, only a small rattling in his breathing remained.

They held hands and walked into the farm fields and then into the wild ivy and scrub behind them. They walked far enough that the town was hidden behind the hills and the sun had started to set and Judai announced, _here._

They didn't have any camping equipment and that was fine. Judai sat down under a tree with his back against the trunk and shut his eyes.

Soon. Yubel said.

Yuusei sat down next to him. "I thought you were kind of self-centered, at first." He said, without prompting.

Judai laughed, his eyes still closed. "I thought you were too serious."

"But — the way you and Yuugi-san were. . . I didn't understand how that could happen. Having fun, even in a tough situation."

"You really. . . should try to have more fun, Yuusei."

"I've had a lot of fun with you." Yuusei laced their fingers together. "You've changed my life."

"People don't just say that," Judai said.

"It's true." Yuusei was almost defensive. "I used your strength, when things got difficult after the duel with Paradox. I've been using your strength since then."

"I've been using you as home." 

They stopped talking, because it was night and the quiet evening air was more beautiful without words. Yuusei listened to Judai breathe and tried to not count the seconds between inhales. Judai squeezed his hand, breathed in and exhaled.

When he didn't breathe in again Yuusei moved with intention to lay him down, press his hands over his heart and try to force his body to breathe again.

He's coming home to me now. Yubel said and flared hir wings out, challenging and protective and, Yuusei thought, grief-stricken as well. Don't disturb him.

Yuusei didn't let go of Judai's hand. In the morning he would figure out what to do. He wanted to take Judai's body home — but he remembered that Judai wouldn't have wanted that.

* * *

There's a supposedly unclimable mountain, about two days driving northeast of Neo Domino City. The brutal combination of thinning air and sharp rocks scare away even the most seasoned mountain climbers. It's a four day journey to the highest plateau — and while the mountain continues up from there, the path becomes nothing more than ice. But on that highest plateau is a gravemarker and while the name engraving reads _Yuuki Judai_ with a simple inscription of _The adventurous heart never dies._

Most people these days don't really know who Yuuki Judai is. They can research him, of course, but more of them know the cliff for being the Hero's Journey. For the few that make it to the gravemarker, they've achieved something that only a handful of others have. An elite club of adventurers and daredevils. A bed of wild roses grows around the gravemarker and anyone who climbs that far is invited to bring one down with them and wear it proudly.


End file.
